Sorry that it has been a little while since my last post. But as I have stated before, no post = things are going great and I am living my life. Four weeks ago was my last scan. I did have a bit more scanxiety than normal as my back was twitching, some soreness & pain. Of course these feelings in my back were very a very similar location to the pain I had that originally let me to my diagnosis. Those pains & twitches started about one week before my scheduled contrast CT Scan. Well, it was only a week away, so I kept those fears to myself. Not until the day of the scan, I messaged my oncologist and nurse practitioner about the previous week and how today would be a good day to get my my scan results quicker than normal. And they did just that. I had my scan at 9am and got my results back by noon. All is great in my scans, I was worrying about nothing. So long story a bit longer, all is going great for me in regards to my cancer.
Which kinda leads me to my other thoughts / comments … and yes, I am going to possibly swear a bit more than normal on this than normal. But to state the obvious, having cancer Fucking Sucks!!! Right now I am having pretty bad elbow pain, I have no idea why the pain / no idea where the pain came from. So then you wonder, is it related to my cancer? I doubt it is … but these are the thoughts that run through one’s mind. Then a few weeks ago, I was not able to make it to Logan’s high school baseball game. I was listening to the game on Game Changer while drlving. He was having a great game and as I am driving, I start thinking about how long I might have to live. And then I think about my boys not having their dad around. So then I just start crying while driving … really? All I was doing was listening to my son’s baseball game. Totally sucks thinking about my mortality, I won’t say on a daily basis these days … but still, I am thinking about my mortality more than any one person should. Then, I still get questions from friends, who think because I am doing so well, that my cancer is cured or it is in remission. As much as I would love to tell these friends that they are right, unfortunately they are not. I will ALWAYS having cancer and unfortunately due to it being stage 4 (it went in to my blood stream), I will never be in remission. Now true, they are finding new treatments all of the time and their is that group in Israel that announced a cure for Cancer by the end of the year (one can only hope & dream) … but as it stands today, I will always have Fucking Cancer. I will always have my mortality on my mind. It really does suck having to think about these things (cancer & dying) as much as I do. And there are just too many very good people out there having the same / similar battles with cancer that I am having. I know it is cliché, but it is NOT fair. Totally sucks!
Oh, a tidbit I got at my oncologist appt. 4 weeks ago, apparently the average lifespan for Afatinib working. If you don’t remember, Afatinib is the targeted therapy I am on. One pill a day. It is not chemotherapy. It is not immunotherapy. It is called a targeted therapy. Well, back to the point, average lifespan for Afatinib working, is 10 months … I am up to about 18 months. So let’s keep beating this curve, let’s have Afatinib working for years … once it stops working, I will move on to another targeted therapy … that is how this cancer-thing works. I will go from medication to medication for the rest of my life. I gotta kick this cancer’s ass!
I think I had other thoughts and things to convey in this post … but as I am typing, I kinda forgot what the other things I was going to write about were. So maybe I will just end it with these thougths. Thank you everyone for the love and support. Thank you everyone for the thoughts and prayers. I will continue to kick cancer’s ass for many years to come! You all are such a great support team, thank you for that. And as always, but this time I am gonna change it up just a little bit … FUCK YOU CANCER!!!
Every day is a blessing. Thanks for continuing to share. You will persevere!
Keep up the fight man! Love and prayers always coming your way from Maryland💪. Great catching up recently as well. You guys look great! JB
keep up the fight Joel – we’re all behind you! …and good luck in the All-Star tourney this weekend.
Joel, you and your targeted therapy will stay ahead of the cancer for many, many years to come. In fact, you will likely be saying Hoya Hoya in front of my headstone!
Thanks for sharing Joel. Just keep living every day to its fullest my friend!
Thank you for sharing your story Joel. You are an inspiration!!
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All the folks on here love you brother, and to many of us you are our brother. If you ever need to talk to someone, need a pep talk, or want to chat about ……. the new cooler technologies ……. anything, call.
Joel, you are incredibly strong to live this way while staying optimistic. I have no doubt that your outlook and will to fight, to see all of your sons baseball games and everything else, is why you’re beating the curve and will continue to do so. All the best!
Joel, keep up the battle, you are a true inspiration!
Wow, what a posts Joel. Don’t even know where to go from here. We are all so grateful that your here and the therapy is working. I also can tell you feel very vulnerable, and that hurts me and I’m sure everyone around you. I wish there was something I/we could say that could take those feelings away but I don’t think there is. Know that we all love you and care deeply about you, and you have impacted all of our lives in a positive way. You’re an incredible dad and husband. Your family is so lucky to have you. Keep fighting my friend. Hopefully they will find a cure for cancer soon and you will no longer have to feel so vulnerable. We love you JG, even though we don’t see you as often anymore.
Sounds like the boys are doing awesome in baseball too. Congrats.
The Schwalbe’s
Love you guys! ❤️💕❤️